The Places We Fear: A Manifesto
We should not have to live in fear. We should not have to plan our routes based on streetlights, clutch our keys like weapons, or weigh up politeness against self-preservation when a man won’t take “no” for an answer. Yet, this is the reality for women and girls in Southampton.
Spring 2023. I was sitting in a pub, The Red Lion in Bitterne, catching up with an old friend. A man who had been staring at me all night finally approached. “S’cuze me, love, how old are you? Are you single?”
I felt the familiar pang of unease. I told him I was 18 and not interested, asking him to leave me alone. His face turned red as his friends laughed. His embarrassment quickly shifted into anger. He began shouting at me, accusing me of leading him on by what I was wearing—a navy blue floral top, jeans, a leather jacket. He claimed I was turning him into a paedophile. His rage didn’t stop when he stormed back to his group. Across the pub, he continued yelling threats at me, towering over me, his voice growing louder and more violent. Even his own mother joined in, threatening to “slap the living daylights” out of me.
We left the pub that night shaken. But in the days that followed, I realized something worse: this was not an unusual experience. When I told my friends what happened, I wasn’t met with shock. I was met with nods of recognition. This is the universal experience of women and girls. Like an initiation into womanhood.
From the moment we are old enough to exist in public, we are taught to police ourselves for the sake of men’s impulses. - Dress carefully—but not too modest, or you’re a prude. - Be polite—but not too friendly, or you’re asking for it. - Walk in well-lit areas—but not too confidently, or you’re arrogant. - Carry your keys between your fingers—but not pepper spray, you’re “paranoid.” - Text your friends when you get home safe—because you might not.
The list goes on and on. A constant set of rules we must follow to reduce the risk of male violence. But no matter what we do, it’s never enough. Because the real issue is not what we wear, where we walk, or how we act. The real issue is why men feel entitled to our bodies, our attention, and our silence.
Sexual violence and harassment in public spaces are not just personal experiences—they are a city-wide epidemic. 14,258 violent and sexual offences were reported in Southampton in 2023. How many more went unreported?
- After the death of Sarah Everard, police went door to door and warned local women not to go out after dark alone, be wary of lone police officers and take better precautions to protect themselves in the wake of her death. This was deeply problematic because it placed the burden of preventing violence onto women themselves, rather than addressing the behaviour of perpetrators or the systemic failures that allow such violence to continue.
Certain areas of the city have become well-known hotspots for these crimes:
- Bevois: 2,096 incidents
- Portswood: 1,949 incidents
- Bargate: 2,481 incidents
- Shirley & Freemantle: 1,972 incidents
- Millbrook: 2,883 incidents
- Peartree & Woolston: 1,820 incidents
- Sholing & Bitterne: 1,594 incidents
These numbers are not just statistics. They are real people—women, girls, survivors—who have been harassed, assaulted, or worse. And yet, where is the urgency? Where is the action from those in power? Southampton’s streets, parks, and public spaces should belong to everyone. We will not accept fear as normal. We will not let our voices be ignored.
What We Want:
- Enhanced Policing – We demand an accountable police presence in high-risk areas like city centre parks and The Common. Victims must be believed, reports must be taken seriously, and action must be swift.
- Council Engagement – Southampton City Council must actively address this crisis. This means funding women’s safety initiatives, supporting grassroots campaigns like Southampton Says Enough and Reclaim Our Parks, and making women’s safety a priority, not an afterthought.
- Stronger Laws – Sexual harassment should not be dismissed as a minor offence. From catcalling to stalking, there must be legal consequences. Perpetrators must be held accountable.
- Safer Streets – Poor lighting and lack of CCTV make some areas of Southampton hunting grounds for predators. We demand better street lighting, surveillance in known danger zones, and emergency call points in vulnerable areas.
Women and girls in Southampton deserve better. We deserve a city where we can walk home without fear. Where we don’t have to pretend to be on the phone, cross the street when we see a group of men, or worry about what will happen if we say “no.” We refuse to accept fear as normal. We reject a society that places the burden of prevention on victims rather than perpetrators. It is time for change. It is time for a city where women and girls can walk freely, without fear.
We demand better. We demand safety. We demand action. This is The Places We Fear.
